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Small Jokes

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!

"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!

Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!

What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Increase its size Stretch it more Exercise it more Bigger the better B'coz nothin looks better on ur face than THAT NAUTY SMILE

An in-depth study has shown that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first. I thought I'd warn you immediately..

An in-depth study has shown that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first. I thought I'd warn you immediately..

Girl: I wanna a responsible man as a husband. Man replies: Dat's me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I m responsible!

Friend: how many women do u believe must a man marry? Mr. Bean: 16 Friend: Why? Mr. Bean: Coz the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

Psychiatrist's receptionist comes & says There's a man out who says he can make himself invisible. Psychiatrist: "Tell him I can't see him right now."

There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it!

Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks To be as rich as his child believes To have as many women as his wife suspects..

Women are like blue jeans, They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

If u r stressed, you'll get pimples.. if u cry,u'll get wrinkles.. So, y don't u smile & get dimples?
A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!

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